Hearing God

Do I hear God speak?  Not audibly, but I know that He does and there are times that he speaks in such clear ways that it feels that the heavens open up for just a moment to give us a peek of all we have waiting for us.  I experienced that today.

To properly do justice to this, I must back up a few months. While we were in Texas for our training for Mercy Ships I was on a walk and felt God tell me that I was about to enter into a journey of growth in my prayer life.  I did not see a neon sign or hear a loud voice from Heaven.  I just felt it.  I had no idea what that meant but I was excited to learn more.  Since that time I have been trying to better understand what it means to communicate with God and take the time to truly listen to Him.  I have been learning a lot and there are many things to share but that will be for another time.

 

This blog is about one specific message he gave me.

Rewind again to a couple weeks ago.  I finished reading a book called Kisses fromKatie by Katie Davis (here's her blog).  Whoa.  It’s a book written by a woman who has given her entire life to Africa (see why I like it J ). She gave up everything she had and moved alone to a village in Uganda.  The book is amazing, inspirational, challenging, tragic, joyful. . .and a million other emotions.  I LOVED every page.  But what hit me most about the book was the way that Katie seeks God’s direction in everything she does.  She asks and she waits for him to respond and lead.  I was convicted while reading this book that so often I go about my life and hope that God will meet me where I am.  I hope I’m doing the best thing but don’t often enough truly wait for him to speak to me.  I’m often too busy to listen to what he has to say. 

So after reading the book I decided that I would really try to be more intentional about shutting up and letting God speak to me.  It’s not easy to hear God’s voice when we have a million other voices competing for our attention (not to mention a 2 year old and 11 month old).  But over a few weeks I saw God open my heart to some amazing things and “heard” him more clearly and in new ways (another blog post).  But then a couple weeks ago I felt like I heard God tell me it was time to wean Cora.  What?  I was certain that couldn’t be God. Why would he ask me to do that?  I thought for sure it was my selfish desires getting in the way of hearing him.  I wanted my body back, I wanted to sleep through the night, I wanted my hormones to not be out of whack anymore, I wanted to stop feeling hungry all the time. Surely this couldn’t be God.  So I wrestled with it for several weeks.  Then last week I had a trusted friend come and pray with me about this. I didn’t want to take such a huge step unless I was SURE it was from God.  After spending some time together in prayer I really felt again like this was what  I was supposed to do. 

 

 I knew I may never know why but he was asking it of me so I was going to obey.

Later that day I was given a gift.  Sometimes we obey and don’t know the “whys” and sometimes God opens the heavens to give us a glimpse of himself.  The same day I agreed to wean Cora I felt like God told me that there was a baby who needed my milk.  Seriously?  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  Our ship has partnered with a ministry here called Babies Without Milk. It is a ministry that provides formula for babies who’s mothers have died and would otherwise have no source of milk.  I called Estel, the director of the ministry, and told her my story.  Her response was. . .”we have your baby”.  Just a few days before a 2 week old baby had been brought to her who’s mother died in childbirth.  He hasn’t been able to tolerate formula.  I could barely finish the conversation with her as I was overcome with emotion and gratitude for God for showing me so clearly that he had indeed spoken to me.

So starting that day I began to wean Cora and continue pumping and saving my milk for this baby.  Cora hasn’t missed a beat (another answer to prayer)!  Today Estel brought little 3 week Alseny to the ship to retrieve the 64oz of milk I have pumped for him since last week.  He is allergic to cow’s milk but that is all they’ve had for the last couple days so he has a rash all over his body and has been vomiting.  He was starving when he got here and I hadn’t pumped.  It seemed silly to defrost some of the milk I’d frozen or go pump so I just sat down and nursed that little blessing from God right in the dining room of the ship.  Words cannot even begin to express the amazing feeling of joy and thankfulness I felt as I saw God’s goodness, faithfulness and love in that precious moment.   

 

Sometimes he speaks in such clear ways that it feels that the heavens open up for just a moment to give us a peek of all we have waiting for us.

We can hear God’s voice. It’s not always easy, it’s not always clear, it’s not always as straight forward as this, but he is there waiting to speak to us and invite us into some pretty amazing blessings.  I hope and pray that I will never forget how it felt today to have such beautiful confirmation of his words to my heart.

 

Alseny

With Estel. Cora says "Here's the baby sharing my milk".

He didn't think this was weird at all.

Happy after his feed.

John got to meet him too.