The Other Side

Well, I have been back on the ship for about two weeks now. There is a great deal of excitement as we head to Congo for our first visit there as an organization. It’s a pretty long sail of approximately two weeks. At some point we will cross the equator and prime meridian at the same time. In the mariner world that makes me a “Diamond Shell back”.  I have been and will be spending much of this sail getting ready to hit the ground running. 

Our family’s time in the states was exceptionally good. We were able to spend two weeks in Grand Lake with our families. One week with Tracey’s and one with mine. The time with my family was the first time my parents were able to have all 5 grandkids in the same place at the same time, a very special treat for them. Tracey and I are so thankful for the sacrifice our parents are making by encouraging us and supporting us in this calling despite us taking away the grandkids for very long stretches of time. 

We also got to spend time in Craig, our home before coming to the Africa Mercy. We loved living in “Craig, America” and really looked forward to our time there, especially with our church family. Our senior pastor at our church there, Pastor Len asked us to speak a little as part of his sermon while we were there. His sermon was on Mark 4:35-40.

³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Prior to the sermon, we emailed Pastor Len and asked what he would like us to share about in connection with his sermon. His response was as follows….. 

I see so often in my life and others when we follow a clear call and the “storms of life” or difficulties in the reality of ministry arise, we begin to question the call rather than stay confident in Jesus carrying us through. If some of your sharing could be along those lines that would be good.

Tracey and I laughed and cried a bit as we read this request. This last year was one that was really difficult for us. We were able to see and be a part of some amazing things (Alseny, VVF surgeries, God is Love Orphanage and many more). We also knew that we had been specifically called. We can’t look back on how we came to be a part of this organization and not know that God has brought us to this place. Yet despite those things, we spent a great deal of time wondering if we were where we were supposed to be. Cora wasn’t sleeping and we were exhausted. Tracey was struggling with the confinement that comes with living on the ship with two small girls. Eating is difficult in this place with a gluten allergy. My role was way more difficult than I ever imagined. There were conflicts and misunderstandings with those I work with. I could even say that I was going through a wilderness experience similar to Elijah and Moses (more on that in future posts). Several times we talked about whether we had made the right choice in coming. Tears were shed several times and I even had times of asking “God, where are you?” Much the same as the disciples who said “Don’t you care if we drown?” As I look back, it all seems really silly when put into perspective, but some times in the midst of storms and squalls that perspective is lost.

Many of our questions and doubts were rooted in some incorrect expectations we carried into our service. Serving in Africa was what we had dreamed of doing and the way it came to be was so amazing. We were in a place that we dreamed of being and had come to that in exceptional circumstances. Certainly after that experience and what we had chosen to leave behind, we were just going to move from one amazing experience to another, living on the mountain top. Maybe there would be some hard things but all the amazing things would overwhelm the difficulties and we would not even notice them.

The disciples had similar experiences with Christ. They had seen miracles and been called to be one of his chosen followers. Yet when the storm came after Christ had asked them to go the other side, they seemed to assume that Jesus had asked them out on the water so they could just drown, not move on to see something more. Christ rebuked the wind and then he rebuked them. “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” 

I am sure Christ was trying to tell me the same things all of last year. When things were hard, who was I to ask God where he was when so many amazing things were going on just a few floors down from me? When we were brought half way around the world to help save a little Alseny who needed breast milk? I am sure God was saying “Really John, Really? Do you have no faith?” 

That was why our time in Colorado was so good. The waves and the wind were quieted and we were able to gain perspective on our first year with Mercy Ships. The amazing things that we were able to be part of really were so much better than the struggles we encountered. I am not proud of my reactions to the struggles as I am sure neither were the disciples.  I am rejuvenated for what Tracey and I have been called to. I also realize that we are not promised mountain tops. We are actually promised troubles, but troubles that can be overcome.

Tracey and I will need to remember that the next 3+ months as we are apart. We are sure of the call God has on us and this is part of that call. It’s not easy and we don’t pretend that it will be. Maybe that place is a better place to start from than how we started last year. I know that I will need God for this next season. Tracey was my rock through the troubles and questions of the last year. I don’t think I make it through the year without her. Now God is asking me to do this with Him as my Rock. He is asking me to go to the “other side” and this time I hope I don’t need to be rebuked when the storms come. But knowing they will come is a good start. I am sure of the call God has for us and I want to be there when we get to the other side.