Christmas is all in the heart

First of all, Merry Christmas!! We are so thankful you are in our lives! 

In a season full of great blessings, my heart has had some moments of extreme heaviness from what I see here in Madagascar. It is a land full of great beauty and amazing people but there are stories that I continue to hear that make me hurt for the poor. Not just those here in Madagascar but all over the world. I have had a lot of moments of questioning throughout the last few months. Trying to make sense of all the suffering and why I was so "lucky" to be born in America. To be born "with" when many here were born "without".

Recently I met a 9 year old boy with bowed legs from Rickets. He was not able to nurse and was fed mostly rice as an infant and small child an so his bones started to bow as soon as he started walking due to the lack of strength. He was a cheerful, happy boy and it was so great to be able to offer him hope of straight legs.  But up until now he has not been able to go to school.  The school he would attend is a 2 HOUR walk each way and he was not able to keep up and, therefore, did not go.  How is this possible? A condition and situation we would be completely immune to in the western world and yet it completely changed this boy's life.

Or a 17 year old girl I met who was here with a vesicovaginal fistula (VVF) from a prolonged labor 2 years ago.  At age 15 she went into labor and went immediately to the local hospital. In many parts of Madagascar you are assigned a nurse to care for your prenatal and delivery needs at the beginning of the pregnancy and they follow you all the way through. Unfortunately for this young girl, the nurse assigned to her was not working when she arrived in labor at the hospital and the others were tending to their own patients so she labored for 5 days without care and eventually when help came the baby had died and her body had suffered the effects of the prolonged labor leaving her with a constant leak of urine.

Or take the 15 year old girl with complete "lock jaw" for 10 years  likely from an infection as a small child. For 10 years she had fed herself through a tiny hole between 2 of her teeth. Her mother would blend all of her food for her and she would force it through this small hole about the size of a tic-tac. It is a miracle that she even survived.

Such sad stories. In the end, however, there was hope as we were able to help each of these patients get better and go on to live more normal lives and while doing so, show them the hope of Jesus. We praise God for the technology we have to help people here.

But what about those we cannot help? I have been out several times now with our palliative care team. It is a team of 2 nurses and a translator and they help by bringing comfort to those with terminal illnesses for which we cannot help. They are amazing women and I am so thankful for them and the work they do for so many in this community.

There is a 30 year old woman here with a large cancerous tumor on her face that we saw several weeks ago. The tumor is slowly suffocating her. There is nothing we can do to help besides prayer and comfort. She cries silent tears while we are there, already mourning leaving her daughters without a mother and yet the first thing she does when the team visits her is pray for them and praise God for his goodness. She has a faith that is rich and deep.

We also saw a 20 year old boy with an abdomen as large as a 9 month pregnant belly due to an extremely enlarged spleen for an unknown reason, likely a combination of chronic malaria and worm infections. He needs a splenectomy but it is way too risky for us to do and he would not have proper management afterwards. And yet he finds joy in his daily life and greets the team with a smile when they visit. The family is hopeful and trusts Jesus with his life.

A few days ago I went with the team to see a 32 year old man with a squamous cell cancer on his nose that has completely eaten through the skin leaving a gaping hole and sore where his upper lip and lower nose used to be. It will only get worse. We cannot provide the treatment he needs. We can only try to control his pain.

It was that day, as I sat with this man and his family at a loss for words, that I felt Jesus remind me that the small glimpses of hope we have in this life are only minuscule compared to the true HOPE we have in heaven.  This man with cancer believes this truth. We asked his wife and 2 year old boy if they were excited for Christmas. They said "we don't have money to buy anything or prepare a big meal, but Christmas is so special to us and we will celebrate in our hearts and with each other".  So. . . is this a family that has or has not? The more I thought about it the more I wondered if sometimes we see things completely backwards. We think we have it so much better in the "Western world", but do we truly understand what it means to celebrate Christmas in our hearts? Do we truly understand what it means to long for the hope of heaven? Can we truly grasp our dire need for a savior when we have so many comforts and conveniences to distract us? When I got home I read this verse:

 Luke 1:53-- "He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty."

I can't make sense of all the suffering. I don't know why there is a huge discrepancy in how different parts of the world live, but I do know that Jesus came for ALL OF US and to understand that at it's very core makes us richer than any material things.  Maybe, just maybe, all our riches are leaving us empty. Maybe if we put aside some of our riches we would see the hope of Jesus a little clearer. We will never understand the "whys" of suffering or illness. These people could potentially have their lives extended for 30, 40, or 50 more years with proper medical care, but 50 years in light of eternity is nothing.  Having a faith and hope in Jesus is everything. 

In addition to praying for the suffering to ease and Jesus to heal these people, my prayer is that these hungry people would be filled with good things in this Christmas season and that I would be filled with Jesus instead of riches.