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So I have been back in Colorado for a little over a week  now.

Its been a really joyous time for me. That whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing seems to apply here. Although, after the last four months, I wouldn’t choose the absence so I could have the increased fondness.

There were like a million people in line at customs when I came into Denver. So close yet so far. It actually went pretty well though and even my little questioning with the agent went quickly. Sometimes it doesn’t because my birthplace of Isfahan, Iran is in my passport and I am a little disheveled after 30 hours of travel. It is also No shave November and I haven’t cut my hair in over a year (except for a little tidying here and there). But this agent could see I think, I was ready to be home. He asked about souvenirs and I said “No, I am just getting back to my family after four months away.” He smiled and said “Well, Welcome Home” and gave me the passport.

As I came up the escalator from customs, I just saw Trace. Were there other people around?

 I didn’t even notice how much the life inside her has grown upon first sight as I came up the escalator from customs. I just saw her face and then put down my luggage and was engulfed in the best hug ever. Were there people around?

We got to the car and there weren’t other people around J. It took a while for us to get into the car. Besides holding Trace some more I was able to speak to my son for the first time.

 We drove home and it was rush hour. I was thankful for the traffic (which is amazingly organized compared to what I have experienced the last couple years in Guinea and Congo).  The traffic on the way home was just more time to visit with Trace without anyone else around. It took about an hour and a half to get home.

Then I got to walk in the door to see the girls. Tracey and I didn’t know what to expect considering the girls ages and how long I had been gone. Well I will just let the video below tell the story.

 

Yes I did completely ignore my father-in-law when I came in. Just had to get to the girls. Cora didn’t stop saying Dada for about 10 minutes. Adalynn was so excited to tell me she wears underwear now and can go the potty by herself. (She even came and got me the next time she went). Adalynn was also excited to read her Bible with me when I came home. She had been asking for her Bible from the Ship and promptly wanted me to read a story to her.

Truly a remarkable homecoming and the end to an important time in the life of our family. We learned a ton about our relationship with God, with each other and the work we are doing. But we are happy that the period is over and we are all together again.

Tracey and I are so thankful for the support we each received during these four months. The encouraging words sent across the state or across the country or across the world helped to sustain us. The prayers were truly felt and uplifting. Phone calls and emails of support brought life and perspective for each of us.

Thank you for being a part of this and helping to sustain our family through this time. We are truly grateful for the support and love we have felt.

Desert

Things are calming down here as our deployment period comes to an end. The surgeries are in full swing and the hospital wards are full. Since Tracey and the girls are not here, I have moved down to Deck 4. In this cabin, I have learned about the thin walls we have heard so much about. Our family cabin is between a fire wall and a classroom so we don’t have that issue as much. In this sense, I am thankful for the paper thin ceilings. This cabin is one floor above the hospital so I can hear the praise songs that are sung down there in the evening. It reminds me greatly of my time in Sudan, when I would wake up to the sounds of the children singing praise songs. That gave me strength to start the day. The sounds down in the hospital give me strength to end the day. It’s been a crazy 8 weeks requiring lots of hours of work for me here and hearing that in the evening and on weekends is quite the blessing. It’s like rain at the end of a long hot day.

Speaking of a long hot day, in an earlier post, I mentioned the desert time I felt during our first year of service with Mercy Ships. I kind of felt that even before we left for the ship. We had a “silent retreat” with God as part of our time in Texas and even on that day I spent most of the time looking up people who had spent time in the wilderness (Elijah, John the Baptist, etc.)

In that earlier post I talked about some of the struggles Tracey and I had. These struggles further distanced me from God instead of drawing me to Him. I also felt distance from others on the ship as well due to barriers I put up. In the position of leadership I have, I didn’t want to look weak or silly or whatever, so I rarely if ever shared these things with anyone. I wasn’t sure what people would think of me and I didn’t want people to know all I was experiencing. It did draw me closer to Trace. She was my rock through the hard times and the frustrations. And I shared everything with her and I mean everything.

Then of course, God knows what we need.  As many of you know, late in the field service we found out we were pregnant with our third child. We were quite surprised. That wasn’t part of the plan. And before you ask. Yes we know how it works.

After much questioning and talking and praying, we both knew that I was to go back to the ship for this extended time. It was what we were being asked to do. That meant I was going to end up here without Tracey and without my girls. I was going to have to turn to God to help me through this phase. I knew that was part of this season in our life. I was also going to need to lean on those around me here much more than I did the year before. And I was going to do that in a weakened state, a state where I am struggling and sad because my rock isn’t here with me.

God essentially was removing all the things I turned to so that I would have to come to Him. Last year, I set aside time very little time for meaningful prayer and Bible study. It was hard to study scripture and for a while I just didn’t. I did read books about how to find God in times like this, but the problem was I wasn’t actually trying. I would read these things and then continue to wonder why God was so distant. He was distant because I wasn’t looking for him. The times that I did study, like getting ready to speak in a community meeting or preparing for a devotion when my time came around I would start to feel more of his presence. But then the doubts would set in or complacency or something and I would lose that. I prayed with Tracey during our family nights, but that was really my only regular prayer time. But I would talk to Trace. And talk and talk. Well really complain and moan and well you get the picture. She was there and listened to my struggles. She encouraged me and really tried to get me to search God out in Scripture and prayer. But it was just easier to go to Trace. Again I just felt distant and was essentially expecting God to come and find me.

Then the news came about the baby and that I was going to come back here by myself. God was removing things so I could see Him. He was always there. I knew that but just couldn’t get to that place of believing it. Here is how I came to believe it.

I only get to talk to Tracey for about an hour or so each day and I just don’t want to take that precious time with complaining about this or that. So in general, I just complain less. My favorite verse is Philippians 2:14-15 which says, 

“Do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe.” 

I am not sure how I missed that verse when I was struggling. I will be sure to remember to complain less to Trace even when we are together again. Why wouldn’t I want to value that time with her in person as much as the time I get to spend with her on the phone. I have also enjoyed my work more despite working harder and longer and with some of the same struggles I had last year. Amazing how life doesn’t feel as dry when I am not whining about this or that.

And since being back here, my scripture reading has been regular and prayer time has been good. There has been some hard stuff going on to start the field service, but I couldn’t just run upstairs and talk to Trace about it. So, I would turn to God and pray and just ask “what would you have me do”. It’s becoming a habit as I hoped it would last year. I have read Ezra and Nehemiah which show how some really great things can be built when people come together.

I have opened up more to the community around me here as well. People here have really looked after me. Getting me out for hikes or some beach volleyball, letting me borrow their ipads so I could skype with Tracey and put up with times when I am short and a little angry. They know it’s hard for me and have really encouraged me often. The desert feeling fades away when you let people into your life.

So I think the desert end has been reached. It feels really good. I feel closer to God and have learned a bunch. God was there all the time asking, begging for me to turn to Him but I tried everything else. He stripped it all away so that I could see only Him. And now that I have stepped out of that, I have more life, more joy in my job, more community, a third child on the way and more positive communication in my marriage. So now after all that dryness, life feels fresh and new and better than when the desert time started.

I don’t think I want to go back to that. So in the future when doubts and distance push their way in, I hope to look back on this year and remember that God is always there. The desert experience is very real, and I am certainly not the first or last person to go through it. It’s probably not even the last time I will go through it. But God teaches us even in those times. Teaches us that He is still there, even when we believe that He is not. 

15 minutes

I think I may be the last one on the ship to write something about our patient screening day here in Congo. It’s just taken this long for me to process it all. This screening day was something very special for me again. I remember the feeling last year when I got home. It was early in our time with Mercy Ships and I got to really see what it was like to see so many people come together for a common purpose. It was a fabulous display of unity and I held to that day when things were tough last year. So coming in to this year’s, I was really looking forward to being a part again.

Patients waiting in line to be seen.

I realized very early on though that this year was different. Not because there was not the same sense of unity, but just my role in that was different. And with that role would come very different emotions. Last year, the people I helped to move around the screening site had all been told “yes” so far. I did not deal with a single person that had been told that we could not help them. This year though, my post would be to escort people towards the exit after they had been told that we could not help them. At 6:30 am, I met my first person who had been told no. He was having troubling walking.  A lump caught in my throat and then I began to understand what so many others talked about last year but I did not experience. We can’t help everyone and I was beginning to meet those we could not help. I tried to prepare for a long difficult day.

Our screening site was at a large school. The walk for these patients from where they came into contact with me was a long and hard one, up a little hill and through fairly deep sand. Mostly, we would walk with them and guide them toward the exit. The word “sortie” (exit in French) will never have the same meaning for me after that day. For some the walk was long enough that we would take a chair with us so that they could take rests along the way. There were some children that I carried. After such a long day of waiting, they were exhausted and their mamas were exhausted. They needed a break and I was glad I could provide that for them.  As I carried them, I would say a blessing over them, the same blessing I give my girls when Trace and I put them to sleep. I just didn't know what else to do for them. 

There was one girl who had cerebral palsy (I think) that I will never forget. As I carried her, she would seize up and at one point I thought she had stopped breathing.  Then she caught her breath and was coughing. I thought she was dying in my arms and it was breaking me. I brought her to the prayer station, gave her back to her mama and said a blessing over her that brought tears to my eyes. After that I had to take a break. I was emotionally drained. I was hurting and wondering what all of this meant. Why do people have to suffer like that? How does her mama cope? What if that had been Adalynn or Cora? I just needed to sit down and work through that before going back out.

Later in the day, a friend told me about this photo that she had seen of me that had moved her emotionally. I had seen photos taken of me carrying some of the children, even having the local Congolese television cameras come out of nowhere as I carried someone. All the cameras made me a little uncomfortable. One reason I am an accountant is that it is a job that doesn't get much attention and that is just fine with me, but I had no idea what kind of attention was coming. My so called 15 minutes were here.

The next morning, I checked my email and saw that someone had posted this photo of me on Facebook. It was the girl, my one. He wrote some very kind words about me with the post. Then as the day went on, lots of people here asked me about the photo. Lots of people back home re-posted it.  Then I had a call with my colleagues in Texas and they had seen it. I was growing uncomfortable with the attention, I tried to tell people what I was feeling when I was with her and it was just weird talking about it. Then someone came to let me know that Dana Perino had posted it on twitter as her favorite photo of the day. Dana Perino is part of a really popular program on Fox News and was a member of the cabinet of President Bush. She had joined us for the week and been sharing with her audience the happenings of the week. (At the screening, I was introduced to her with the line “I know he looks like he came straight out of the bush, but he is actually the finance director.”) After Dana posting it, the photo was everywhere.  Later that night, the photo showed up on her TV show. As the next week went on, the photo was in a bunch of Mercy Ships blogs. A different screening photo of me holding a little boy on my back was posted on the anniversary of Mother Theresa's death on the Mercy Ships site. To top it off, Dana Perino mentioned me by name on her show. I think my 15 minutes ended there.

I have had a lot of thoughts about that picture since all of that has gone on.

I thought about the attention itself. I just happened to be the one who had been asked to do that particular job. She needed to be carried. I just happened to be in line of the camera after walking with her a few minutes. Anyone else there would have carried her. In fact, that little girl had been carried to me by someone else. I spent the day with a sixty something nurse that made that same walk from 6:30 am until 8 pm with just a 15 minute break all day. She never stopped smiling all day. She was amazing but no attention. That whole screening took 300+ people to pull off. Yet, I felt like I was getting all of the attention. Why me?

I thought about how inspiration comes from a moment. There were thousands of moments that day, but mine was captured. I have not been comfortable with the attention, but many people were thankful for the picture and the story it told. I certainly have looked at photos like that and I am glad this photo inspired others. I hope the attention of that photo means more people care about the person in front of them whether or not the camera is around.

I thought about my family. It’s been an emotional time being here without Tracey, Adalynn and Cora and some people mentioned that maybe that moment with that little girl was why I was here without my family. Interacting with all those people we could not help was a hard day to do on my own.  I missed Tracey greatly at the end of the day. I missed holding my girls after the experiences of carrying that little girl and the other children.

I thought mostly about the girl. I thought about her face, her hair, her bony little body that could not support itself. I wish I knew more of her story. I wish I would not have needed to carry her. I wish her mama didn't have to carry her because of her condition and their lack of means to care for someone with that condition. Mostly, I wish I would have learned her name so she could have shared that attention. I was so struck by her condition and struggles that I didn't ask her mama her name.

I know that my Father knows her name. He knows her story and He knows her suffering. He knows the number of hairs on her head. I pray that He will bring peace and healing to that family. And I pray for the day when there is no more suffering and no more tears. The day when there are no more NOs.  

HERE WE GO

Its an exciting time here on the Africa Mercy. We are pretty much unpacked and this week we do our first big screening. This was one of the highlights of my time in Guinea last year. I loved watching us come together as a whole ship. We were so unified and it was a fantastic thing to be a part of.

Our off ship sites have been completed and are ready to be used. All three of these sites were renovated in a span of 7 weeks. I was able to visit them soon after our arrival and it was such an encouragement for me to see. It reminded me of all the people we will serve and all that will be left behind when we leave. The Hope Centre will become a school for the deaf and blind, the dental clinic will be used as a medical clinic for that same school and the Eye site is attached to a local hospital and will possibly be used as a bio med site.

Hope Centre

 

 Dental Site

 

 

EYE SITE

 

 

We are excited to be here for many reasons. One of the reasons is the level of partnership this government has shown so far. We have asked them what they need from us and we are working to deliver that. They are interested in every aspect of what we have come up with in response to their requests and  asking lots of questions. They also assigned someone from the government whose responsibility is to make sure we have what is needed to do the work and education projects. Finally they will be helping to organize the different screenings as well as much of the patient transport required. We will be reaching far into the interior of the country with various screenings. This would not be possible without the government’s support.

Here is a copy of one of the flyers that are all over town as we get ready for the screening. These flyers were all prepared by a local Congolese company in cooperation with the government. Usually we do this after arrival, here the campaign started and we were welcomed to the port with one of these banners at our berth site.

The government is also providing all the fuel required for the ship and the vehicles, which shows how much they want to be a part of what Mercy Ships is doing. While we are excited about the free fuel and the funds that frees up to provide more assistance, my right hand is not as excited. That is because of these vouchers. We present these vouchers at the fuel station when filling up our vehicles.  See that part that says “Signature et Cachet”? I must sign my name there for each one of them and we have been given 6,000. Ahh, the joys of being the finance director. Sometimes, I wonder if my biggest contribution to what we do is my signature (I sign a lot of things).

Please be in prayer for us as we start this field service, especially the screening on Wednesday. Pray the people in line who need our help, that they would find their way to us. Pray for those, we will not be able to help. So hard for them when they come with such longing for healing. Pray for the coordination required for this event to go smoothly. And pray for the first surgeries that will start on Monday Sept 2.

Here we go!

The Other Side

Well, I have been back on the ship for about two weeks now. There is a great deal of excitement as we head to Congo for our first visit there as an organization. It’s a pretty long sail of approximately two weeks. At some point we will cross the equator and prime meridian at the same time. In the mariner world that makes me a “Diamond Shell back”.  I have been and will be spending much of this sail getting ready to hit the ground running. 

Our family’s time in the states was exceptionally good. We were able to spend two weeks in Grand Lake with our families. One week with Tracey’s and one with mine. The time with my family was the first time my parents were able to have all 5 grandkids in the same place at the same time, a very special treat for them. Tracey and I are so thankful for the sacrifice our parents are making by encouraging us and supporting us in this calling despite us taking away the grandkids for very long stretches of time. 

We also got to spend time in Craig, our home before coming to the Africa Mercy. We loved living in “Craig, America” and really looked forward to our time there, especially with our church family. Our senior pastor at our church there, Pastor Len asked us to speak a little as part of his sermon while we were there. His sermon was on Mark 4:35-40.

³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Prior to the sermon, we emailed Pastor Len and asked what he would like us to share about in connection with his sermon. His response was as follows….. 

I see so often in my life and others when we follow a clear call and the “storms of life” or difficulties in the reality of ministry arise, we begin to question the call rather than stay confident in Jesus carrying us through. If some of your sharing could be along those lines that would be good.

Tracey and I laughed and cried a bit as we read this request. This last year was one that was really difficult for us. We were able to see and be a part of some amazing things (Alseny, VVF surgeries, God is Love Orphanage and many more). We also knew that we had been specifically called. We can’t look back on how we came to be a part of this organization and not know that God has brought us to this place. Yet despite those things, we spent a great deal of time wondering if we were where we were supposed to be. Cora wasn’t sleeping and we were exhausted. Tracey was struggling with the confinement that comes with living on the ship with two small girls. Eating is difficult in this place with a gluten allergy. My role was way more difficult than I ever imagined. There were conflicts and misunderstandings with those I work with. I could even say that I was going through a wilderness experience similar to Elijah and Moses (more on that in future posts). Several times we talked about whether we had made the right choice in coming. Tears were shed several times and I even had times of asking “God, where are you?” Much the same as the disciples who said “Don’t you care if we drown?” As I look back, it all seems really silly when put into perspective, but some times in the midst of storms and squalls that perspective is lost.

Many of our questions and doubts were rooted in some incorrect expectations we carried into our service. Serving in Africa was what we had dreamed of doing and the way it came to be was so amazing. We were in a place that we dreamed of being and had come to that in exceptional circumstances. Certainly after that experience and what we had chosen to leave behind, we were just going to move from one amazing experience to another, living on the mountain top. Maybe there would be some hard things but all the amazing things would overwhelm the difficulties and we would not even notice them.

The disciples had similar experiences with Christ. They had seen miracles and been called to be one of his chosen followers. Yet when the storm came after Christ had asked them to go the other side, they seemed to assume that Jesus had asked them out on the water so they could just drown, not move on to see something more. Christ rebuked the wind and then he rebuked them. “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” 

I am sure Christ was trying to tell me the same things all of last year. When things were hard, who was I to ask God where he was when so many amazing things were going on just a few floors down from me? When we were brought half way around the world to help save a little Alseny who needed breast milk? I am sure God was saying “Really John, Really? Do you have no faith?” 

That was why our time in Colorado was so good. The waves and the wind were quieted and we were able to gain perspective on our first year with Mercy Ships. The amazing things that we were able to be part of really were so much better than the struggles we encountered. I am not proud of my reactions to the struggles as I am sure neither were the disciples.  I am rejuvenated for what Tracey and I have been called to. I also realize that we are not promised mountain tops. We are actually promised troubles, but troubles that can be overcome.

Tracey and I will need to remember that the next 3+ months as we are apart. We are sure of the call God has on us and this is part of that call. It’s not easy and we don’t pretend that it will be. Maybe that place is a better place to start from than how we started last year. I know that I will need God for this next season. Tracey was my rock through the troubles and questions of the last year. I don’t think I make it through the year without her. Now God is asking me to do this with Him as my Rock. He is asking me to go to the “other side” and this time I hope I don’t need to be rebuked when the storms come. But knowing they will come is a good start. I am sure of the call God has for us and I want to be there when we get to the other side.

60 minutes

The ship is about halfway to Congo right now. They are set to arrive next Friday. The girls and I are wishing we could be on the ship with John and our friends but we are also enjoying time with my parents. We look forward to our reunion in mid-November.

Wanted to let you know that 60 minutes will be airing the piece on Mercy Ships again this Sunday August 4th at 6pm MST. It has a few updates from the last segment we've been told. Please spread the word!! We would love to have as many people watch as possible.

Thank you all again for your continued prayer and support in this hard but exciting time!

Back and bigger than ever

We have been back in the states for some rest for a couple weeks now and thus have not been very busy with blog posts.  Right now we are in Grand Lake, CO enjoying a spectacular view of the mountains and lakes.  It’s hard to even describe the feeling of rest and rejuvenation this place can provide.  We love Africa and feel called to work there but to be home and to be in such a restful place was a welcomed break from our crazy year.  It was a year of ups and downs and we felt pretty worn out.  We are so thankful for this time to refuel. 

A few months ago as I was anticipating our time in the States, I was really nervous about how our time would be as I knew packing in all we wanted to do and seeing all the people we wanted to see in 4 weeks was a tall order.  I began to pray that God would make our time feel longer than it actually was and that we would truly have times of rest and restoration.  God has answered this prayer for us but not exactly in the way we expected.

When I felt God asking me to wean Cora and start pumping to give baby Alseny milk (if you haven’t read the story, you can read it here), I felt like he told me that there was another part to the story.  It was an amazing opportunity to provide milk for that baby but I just felt that there was even more to it than that.  I wasn’t sure what that meant.  A month before we left Guinea my milk completely dried up and I was so sad, wondering what would happen to Alseny.  Estel, the director of Babies without Milk, came by to get my last bag of milk just before we were leaving and reported that he was now tolerating formula without issue.  I was once again struck by God’s perfect faithfulness in providing for this life.  He continues to do well, as far as we know, and should be up for adoption soon!  What an amazing story of God’s perfect provision and faithfulness. 

Soon after we found out that we are pregnant again!  (That is the bigger than ever part, our family not me). This is the reason that my milk dried up so quickly and I believe that it is the other piece to the puzzle.  We initially felt really overwhelmed by the idea of having another baby so soon but we have felt so strongly that the Lord also wanted me to wean Cora so that this baby could be.  This is part of God’s perfect plan and so while we are still a bit overwhelmed by the idea we are at peace and so thankful for this newest addition to our family.

I am currently just over 14 weeks pregnant and due the beginning of January!  The Africa Mercy is a hospital ship; however, it is a ship that specializes in surgeries, not in Obstetrics or neonatal care.  Because of this women are not allowed to be pregnant on the ship past 24 weeks.  After much thought and prayer we have decided that it doesn’t make sense for the girls and me to travel back to the ship for the rest of the time in the Canary Islands, the sail and just a short time in Congo before we’d be required to come back to the States.  This means that the girls and I will be staying in Colorado with my parents until after the baby is born.  John will head back to the ship on July 23^rd and return to Colorado in mid November and be here with us until after the baby is born.  When the baby has a passport and his/her 2 month shots, all 5 of us will travel back to the ship together and continue our service.

Obviously we are not thrilled about this 4 month separation but we are sure that God continues to be in control and that this is not a surprise to Him. It is not what we would have chosen, but we do know it is what God has called us to do. It is going to be a time of stretching and growth for all of us.

We appreciate your prayers during the difficult few months apart. We have received such great prayer support from so many during our first year. This first year was such a challenge for us and we really relied on the prayers of so many to complete our first year of service. We hope to continue to do many more years as the Five Walls at Sea and are so thankful for the people who lift us up. It sounds so cliché (much like our post title-John's idea :) ), but we know we could not do what we do without this kind of support and will really need it as we go through this season.

 

Lasts

These past few weeks have been full of lasts.  The last day of surgery. The last day of the hospital. The last day for day workers. The last day of school. Our last trip to the orphanage. The last bag of milk given to Alseny. We have only one week left here in Guinea.  It is a week full of pack up and securing, getting ready for our five day sail to Canary Islands.  Our work here in Conakry is essentially over.  It is time to move on.  In many ways we are so ready.  We are tired. We are ready to see family and friends.  We are ready for change.  But in other ways we are sad as we see our first field service with Mercy Ships ending.

As we said goodbye to our wonderful Day Workers last Friday I found myself much more emotional than I anticipated.  I asked a few of them what they were going to do now that they no longer had a job with us.  None of them knew.  They seemed a bit down and one of them started crying as she hugged me and thanked me for the opportunity to have this job (not that I personally had anything to do with it).  I felt saddened for them and helpless to do anything about their current unemployment.  I started to wonder if we’ve really made a difference here or if we just came in for a few months and did some surgeries and we are leaving without really making lasting change.

A few other things added to my discouragement.   I learned that some of our teaching of local doctors was not as advanced as we had hoped.  They needed much more basic and elementary training than the grand plans that we had.  They were in more need of teaching about basic operating room procedures than about training in specific surgeries or advanced anesthesia.  I heard from some that they didn’t think Guinea was in a better place than when we came.  There has been some violence in this city surrounding elections and this violence has become much more intense and much more of an ethnic issue since we got here.  Some see this increase in violence as a sign that Guinea is worse now than when we came.

As I was feeling sad and discouraged I felt like God shook me free and reminded me of who He is.  I felt like he was saying to me, “How can you love people, show them my son Jesus, provide jobs, make friends, heal bodies and NOT think that I have worked in amazing ways to show Myself to these people through you?”  I realized how prideful it was to think that WE haven’t done enough here.  Yes, the Lord USES us but ultimately it is HIM who is working in people’s hearts and making lasting changes.  We can come up with all the measures of success that we want but ultimately it is God’s job to show his power and to change lives.  Thousands of patients have been healed.  Those people would not argue that Mercy Ships has made a difference in their lives.  Patients and day workers have expressed that they have felt loved and accepted like never before.  God was working daily in this place.  Guineans from the clashing tribes were working alongside each other on this ship, something that never happened (according to some) in this way before we came. 

We can only see the tiny tip of the iceberg of change that the Lord has brought.  Day workers want to go back to their local hospitals and change the way things are done.  Teaching and capacity building is happening.  People have seen the love of Jesus.  Lives have been changed.  I no longer feel discouragement.  I feel so excited for all that the Lord has done and I am excited to watch as Guinea continues to grow and change.  This country isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be, but it is ignorant and blind to say that things are not different.  Our God is so much greater than ethnic differences.  He is greater than poverty.  He is greater than physical limitations or disabilities.  He does not call us to change countries.  He calls us to love people.  And I feel that we have done that.  I believe that we MUST trust that He is able to take all that we have done, all our tiny and great efforts of love, and turn them into miraculous displays of his glory.  We have to trust that or else we are just relying on our own limited human view of change.  I trust that he has done this.  Guinea is better off because of God’s work in this place.  My wise friend Dianna said, “We didn’t bring God here, nor are we taking him with us.  God has always been here in Guinea and he will continue to be here when we leave.”  Mercy Ships leaving this place is not the end of God’s work. Our time here was just a tiny surge of love in the midst of an eternity of His perfect work. 

I pray that the people of this country will turn their hearts to Jesus.  I pray that the violence in this country would stop.  I pray that this country, so full of potential and resources, would get out of their own way and become all that they can be.  God is working.  He loves these people and He will continue to love them for all time.  I am thankful for the opportunity to have been here and witnessed the work of Mercy Ships but I am even more grateful for an all-powerful God that is so much bigger than anything we could hope to do on our own.  In the midst of all these lasts I am blessed to serve a God who's love truly lasts.

Cora with Blessing on our last day at the Orphanage.

 

Some of the orphans singing a goodbye song to us at their church.

 

Adalynn's last day of her Sticker Ministry here in Guinea.

With Martha and Antoinette, two of my favorite day workers!

Our day worker party on their last day.

 

Enjoying Guinea

Friday was the last day of surgeries and the hospital is only open for one more week.  The reality that our time here in Guinea is nearly over is hitting all of us.  It is a bittersweet feeling as we have loved our time here but we are so excited for some down-time and a trip to visit family and friends in Colorado in just a few weeks!

Here are some really great ways we have kept ourselves busy enjoying Guinea and ship life in the last few weeks.


Homecoming

This was the first ever attempt at a homecoming type celebration for our 3 seniors in the Academy on board the ship.  We got to be a part of making this event really fun.  Since American Football is not really played here we had an ultimate Frisbee match between the Academy and the Crew. John and I both got to play for the crew team.

Adalynn helped cheer!

Everyone got really in to it, though most of the crowd was routing for the Academy

We played on a construction site.  (I have battle wounds to prove it)

We even put on a dance for them!

Mosque Tour

John and I had the amazing opportunity to get to tour the grand Mosque here in Conakry.  It is the 4th largest Mosque in Africa!  It was donated by the Saudi Arabian government in 1984 after some Guinean's helped plant trees for shade in Saudi.  Our staff development manager formed a relationship with some men at the mosque and was able to organize these tours as a way for us to gain a broader understanding of the Muslim faith.  It is not a normal practice to get such an intimate look into their worship.  We were also allowed to take pictures, something that is rarely permitted.

Women were required to have their heads covered as soon as we entered the gates.

Outside the mosque there is a memorial to great heroes in Guinea's history.  This tomb has a corrected deceased date as the original was written incorrectly. . .oops.

A bag of water left for the spirits of the dead.

Inside the beautiful Mosque. The red carpets are the prayer rugs. The brown boxes are to hold shoes.

The details were extremely beautiful.

The place is filled during the call to prayer 5 times a day.  We asked them if God ever spoke back to them during these prayer times and they were surprised by the question.  It is all very much a reverence to Allah and not a reciprocal time of prayer.  Steve, our staff development manager, had an amazing opportunity to build relationships with many of the men at the mosque through these tours and was able to also share with them what it means to follow Jesus.  The grand Imam and the man who led our tour were also able to tour our ship and learn a little about what we do and believe. Steve was also able to pray with and for these men on several occasions and the men at the mosque prayed for Mercy Ships as part of their daily prayer.  We can never know where exactly their hearts are towards the God we know and serve but overall it was a beautiful picture of  sharing Jesus' love through relationship.

Batik Making Factory

I got to take a tour of a Batik (fabric) making factory and make my own dyed cloth.  It was really amazing to see the entire process.

First we chose from hundreds of stamps.

Then we stamped hot wax onto our fabric.

 

 

Here's my white fabric with wax stamps.

This wonderful lady picked off all the dripped wax bits.

We then chose a color and dyed the fabric.

 

 

 

 

 

The waxed parts stay white!  (mine is the brown one)

 We are thankful that we can be a part of such wonderful experiences!  Only 2 weeks left in Guinea before we set sail for the Canary Islands. . .and then to Colorado to see many of you very soon. :)

Take 5

Every week someone from Mercy Ships writes a short column for our internal website. Last week it was John's turn. I believe what he wrote is a great reminder and challenge for all of us!

This week's Leadership POV (Point of View) is written by John Wall, the Finance Director on the Africa Mercy. John, Tracey and their family joined Mercy Ships in 2012.

Lord What Do You Want Me to Do?

Since our arrival here on the Africa Mercy, we have seen and experienced so much. We jumped right in and things were difficult at the outset. Especially early on, I felt in over my head and had no idea how to approach the various situations I encountered. This was the case both in my work duties in finance and situations with my family. Even when I thought I knew what I was supposed to do, it didn't always work out so well.

Somewhere in this time frame, we heard a word from Donovan encouraging us in every situation to take a few seconds and just ask, “God what would you have me do?” As I heard this message, my mind went to my last job before joining Mercy Ships. I worked at a mine in my last job and we would “Take 5” before doing any task, whether it was something dangerous like raising an engine with a crane or simple like moving a desk. We wanted to pause and think about the situation and any dangers that might come through doing that task. We asked specific questions about what could happen and what the consequences could be. The goal was to do everything safely. “Take 5” was a part of our culture, it was part of who we were. It helped us win many safety awards in the industry and most of all helped us at one point go over a year without a single injury to any of the 250 employees we had (not a common occurrence in the mining world). It even affected the way I was at home as I would “Take 5” before doing things like shoveling snow off a roof, fixing the car, or even mowing the lawn.

I have tried to now take this and apply this safety motto to my life here on the ship and my interactions with God. I want to “Take 5” and ask “God, what would you have me do here” when facing a situation, whether easy or hard. Honestly, I have not done well. First of all, I still struggle with asking God in the first place and just pushing on ahead using my knowledge and experience. If I do pause, I struggle hearing God and knowing what He would like me to do in that situation.

In the last couple weeks, I learned what it is like when you do it the right way. I learned it from my wife, Tracey (where else would I learn a great life lesson?). Recently, God put it on her heart to wean our baby girl. “But why God, it makes no sense.” She is in the medical field with a mother who is an expert in all things related to the feeding of babies. She asked me to pray about it too. I did but I didn't really try to listen. I just assumed I knew the right answer (based on what I learned from Tracey and her mom no less). Tracey continued seeking God and asking Him what she should do. Finally, we talked about it and we decided to start weaning because Tracey felt like God was telling her to. It’s a long and beautiful story (see last 2 posts), but by listening to God, another baby here in Guinea who lost his mom at about the same time is able to live by drinking Tracey’s milk. Tracey asked and listened when it didn't make sense and God showed her why after she decided to obey. I didn't “Take 5” going into this like I should have as another life hung in the balance. What a joy we have had getting to know this little boy the last few weeks and what blessings we would have missed out on if we had just done what we thought we were supposed to do without Tracey asking “God what would you have me do?”

I am a proud husband and I have learned a great lesson. God should be a part of every situation I confront. My knowledge, experience and whatever else I can muster isn't enough. I also learned that God will give us direction if we are willing to listen. He doesn't always give us an answer as to why but he does want to have a say in what we are doing. As I was able to be a part of this and learn, I am so much more inclined now in every situation to “Take 5” and ask “God what would you have me do?” I hope it becomes a part of who I am and what I do.



John Wall
Finance Director
Africa Mercy